Last Pillar of Self Worth

Self-Asserting, Self-Assertion

This means living your own life. Now you are probably thinking, "What other life should I be living?" But since childhood, we have been invited to live a different life. We are taught how to be, what is good and what is not, and how we should behave. In addition, advertising shows us how we look strong, cool, or desirable with certain products. But how can we make and assert our person confidently?

The construction of individual reality

The most important factor for self-confidence comes from constructivism. There is no one reality, but each person designs or constructs his own reality. And the nice thing is: everyone is right in their world. But as tempting as that sounds, how well can it be integrated into dealing with other people and their worlds?

A man hears on the radio that a ghost driver should move on the street on which he is located. He thinks: "One? That's hundreds!"- This joke shows that comparing your own reality with that of others is extremely important. Both the similarities and the differences should be appreciated.

In addition, it is part of the self-asserting assertion to be clear about the effects of your own actions that are in line with your values. Those who live independently have to live with the effects. Therefore, a strong awareness of impact is the best way to act resiliently and consciously.

The construction of the past also belongs to the construction of individual reality. This is because the brain creates the past the moment we think of it. So if you have a pessimistic attitude in the present, you will not remember a rosy past or will call everything beautiful at that time. In the sense: do not believe everything you think.

Decision support: a journey into the future

A good way to understand the impact and make decisions is to travel into the future.

Assume that after a long, healthy, and fulfilling life, you are on your deathbed. You lived with joy and always followed the path you wanted to take with confidence. From this point, look back at the time when you were not yet confident. How did you decide at the time so that your life was in the best sense for you?

This pseudo-orientation in time makes it possible to visualize the longer-term effects on the environment and to strengthen self-confidence through this decision-making competence.

Questions that enable you to assert yourself confidently are:

How many opinions do I have on a topic?

What are the effects of different opinions and alternative courses of action?

What's the worst thing that can happen? How likely is that?

What exactly am I responsible for?

How do I make a decision now with the knowledge of all my resources, skills, and abilities?